An Advertisers Dream girl

I think I may just be an advertisers dream. When they are sitting around the table having a big pow wow over some brilliant new campaign, I am sure it is my face they see. I reckon this one will really get her, they snicker to each other with a greedy gleam in their eye. Why I hear you ask, do I think this? Well its simple- advertising really works on me.

For instance: driving along singing a song, thinking about what I have to do today etc etc. “hello!” what’s that , a billboard advertising KFC. Well now all I feel like is KFC. I could possibly perish this very minute, such is my new craving for the previously unthought about kfc. Even though I know there is a snowflakes chance in hell I will actually go and buy KFC, the thought has been planted in my head- hence advertising works.

Then flicking through catalogues (like  heroin to a drug addict)  I see the following statement in a Target catalogue- “Happiness is dresses” Oh. My. God. It’s been there all along, staring me in the face. All these years searching for elusive happiness and all I had to do was wear a dress!! Right, off to buy some flirty, fun little frocks . I mean, my happiness is at stake after all. .What husband could possible deny his wife buying happiness for goodness sake.

Now another form of advertising that is guaranteed to suck me in with the force of a Dyson vacuum cleaner (wow , Dyson advertising obviously made an impression somewhere along the line- oh and I own one and its awesome!) is grocery store catalogues. They beckon me with their ‘specials’ this, and their ‘1/2 price’ that’s. Now even if I have absolutely no need in the world for what they are peddling I still buy it. Justification? Its just such good value!!  Wow, Pedigree Pal dog food, buy 200 get 6000 free. Yes please. No I don’t have a dog, but gee that’s great value.  Oh what about 3 tins of condensed milk for $600, a saving of $3 . Well that’s just the very thing I need. You know how well weight watchers and condensed milk go together!  Hang on, whats that I see?  Eau de fermented yak sweat parfum is on sale for …wait for it….. half price. I start salivating. Who cares if I smell like a fetid yak. It was half price!!!!!!!

See I have a problem. The word sale to me is like the words ‘free tequila shots’ to uni students (hey its my blog- I have licence to stereotype and generalise) . Whether I need whats on offer or not, if there is a saving to be had, chances are  I will buy it.  And that’s exactly why informercials are banned in my house. Otherwise I would have every exercise machine, cooking appliance, acne, youth and haemmoroid cream and life insurance funeral plan known to man- and one darn impressive steak knife collection!

Its on like donkey kong!

I am doing weight watchers in an attempt to shed some kilos that have become increasingly familiar and comfortable on my bones. I have been doing ok, 15 kg gone so far. Granted I started at the beginning of the year, but I am a slavish follower of the "slow weight loss is good weight loss and will stay lost" theory. At this rate, this weight shouldn't find me again til 2098. Well so I thought. What I didn't factor into this equation was Mother Nature. And honestly, she can be a right cow!  Take for example this week. Monday rolls around I get on the scales, all looking positive. Tuesday- ditto, Wednesday- I begin to smile. Thursday morning arrives, its weigh in day. I happily bounce onto the scales full of smug confidence. Cue horror movie type scream as I look down at the number. It cannot possibly be true, how? why? I have gained 900g overnight!!! I have been eating freaking salad all week and suffering horrendous headaches from lack of carby-type goodness and I have gained weight- the day of my weigh in. My usual weigh in day routine of eating very little and rationing my water sips isn't even going to save me today. Defeated I slink from the bathroom, with a sidelong glance at the razor blades sitting on the bench. I begin to wonder how much blood weighs and how much I would lose if I just slashed my wrists a little bit (I am seriously kidding re this last comment) . So I get to my meeting and decide that I will use my 'no weigh pass', which I have affectionately renamed my 'no freaking way am I getting weighed today' pass which helps to soothe my crushed spirit a little. BUT today I wake up, hop on the scales and you would not believe it............ the 900g is GONE!!!!!!!! Its too late now, weigh in was yesterday! This leads me to believe that good ol mother nature is out there having a good old laugh at my expense, high fiving those around her laughing about how they got me a good one. Not happy mother nature! I am not laughing. So now its on- the challenge has been laid down. I am going to be so freaking good this week even mother nature wont be able to hold me back, starting today withhaving  fulfilled my personal challenge to walk to moffat beach and home again- a 2 hour walk. Suck on that MN! You cant keep a carb-deprived, hormonal weight watcher down!

With a little help from my friends....

Friends- we all have them, we all love them. Friends are a vital part of life, and a lovely part of life. I was looking through my facebook list and realised that the people on my friends list fit pretty much into the following categories. Some of course fit into more than one.

The school friend

When you are at school it is your world. But as soon as you leave, you find it was quite a small world after all. The friends you thought you would cherish forever move on and you all go in different directions. You try to catch up for a start, and may see each other at weddings, but mostly you just see each other on facebook

The long distance friend

These are friends with whom you shared a time in your life and now you are separated by distance. But when you get together the distance and time falls away and its like you were never apart

The true friend

These ones are rare, so when you get them you need to treasure them with your life! A true friend will be there when you need them, to be a shoulder to cry on, whom you could call at 4 in the morning if your world should fall apart. They listen to you when you talk, instead of talking at you all the time. They just seem to know when things are not going well and know when a hug is needed. A true friend makes you feel good about yourself and is one whom makes a smile appear on your face when you hear their name. Someone with whom there is nothing you cannot share. They really are one of Gods greatest gifts

The friend in sheeps clothing

This friend is one to watch out for. They claim to be a friend but don’t do many friend type things. They call you- friendly- but talk about themselves the whole time- unfriendly. They get your hopes up- friendly- but constantly let you down- unfriendly. They can be good fun- friendly – but it tends to be all about them- unfriendly. You sometimes  wonder if you mean anything to them at all

The fun friend

This friend is a good time friend. You get together and it’s all about the laughs. They are refreshing for the soul and you look forward to getting together with this friend. This friend is one who brings out the youthfulness in you and one with whom you can have good childlike fun

The friend you avoid in the supermarket.

This is a friend whom you knew in the past. You accepted them on fb only cos you find it difficult to say no. If you see this friend in Woollies, you may be tempted to go down a different aisle if they haven’t seen you. Or you may quickly duck into the 12 items or less aisle with over 30 items in your basket to escape them (and end up mortified when you realise your social faux pas and get death glares from people behind you in the line)…… not that I speak from experience of course lol

Friends- you gotta love them even if they drive you crazy!

Hello and Welcome

Well this will just be a short one, because I have just spent ages setting up my blog. The small person very considerately is having a big sleep, but am sure he will be waking soon.
So wow, my very own blog!! Very exciting. I have blogged before but never had my own page. I hope I am up for the challenge. This head contains so much 'stuff', so who better to share it all with than the blogging world at large. Maybe one day I will even have a follower to read it!