It has taken me almost 2 months to write this post. That's how traumatised you made me. March 13, the night that could have been the night of my life (well apart from the other nights of my life- wedding, child birth etc etc). Picture this- me, 5th row, QPAC concert hall, Eddie Vedder on stage- solo show. About 15-20 metres separated me from the man I have loved since I was 12 (don't get your knickers in a twist- Allan knew when he married me there was always a piece of my heart kept for Eddie) SHOULD. HAVE. BEEN HEAVEN. But do you know why it wasn't? Well let me tell you. It was because of you. You with your exceptionally big head. Sure, not your fault, genetics, yadda yadda yadda. However, perched on top of that freaking ginormous head, was the biggest man-hair I have ever seen! I mean come on, back away from the extra body shampoo man (as if that glossy shine comes naturally ; ). Once again, maybe you were just born with high sitting, springy hair strands. But for the love of all things holy, why, oh why could you not keep that gargantuan head still. You moved it one way- I moved the other. Oh hang on, now I can see Eddie, oh wait, hang on, big-head man has decided to move his head again..... for the 5 millionth time that hour!! Lucky for the person behind me, I am a) short and b) had straightened my hair hence no chance of my hair being ginormous and view blocking. Oh wait, now you want to shift your mammoth head again AND put your arm around your girlfriend. Well just wait till I move again, no really, cos its not like I paid the same money as you just to watch your FREAKING HUGE HEAD- seriously the poor girl beside me now thinks I am totally trying to rest my weary head on her shoulders. Maybe I am being harsh, maybe the weight of having such a (hang on just ducking over to thesaurus.com for some more synonyms for large) colossal head on your small neck is really difficult. Maybe I should be feeling sorry for you. Well I don't. Eddie was awesome, just a pity I have barely any idea what he looked like crooning away up on stage there because I couldnt see past your exorbitant cranium. But on the plus side, Andrew Stockdale (of Wolfmother fame) did a duet with Eddie and I had no problems whatsoever seeing his gigantic head either.
note: this blog is in no way meant to offend those who have exceptionally large heads
