My Resignation Letter

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to hand in my resignation from the position of Mother. It is effective immediately. There are a few reasons for this decisions, which I will outline in dot points below. Hopefully by bringing these to your attention, you may rectify them for future employees:

1. My pay is dismal- oh thats right- I am not paid at all!

2. I cant remember the last time I had a proper meal break

3. I cannot even shower or have a toilet break on my own

4. My hours are ridiculously crazy. 24/7 is a bit much by any ones standards

5. I tried to resolve this through my union- except I dont have one!

6. I work hard all day but the clients come along behind me and constantly undo what I have done

7. in the course of my day I am vomitted on, dribbled on, sometimes even pooed on- what other employee would have to work under such conditions.

8. I have no sick leave at all, and no holidays

9. I was never given any training for my role, just thrown in the deep end with a couple books and the odd piece of advice- usually given when I have made a mistake

10. My clients are often demanding, needing everything 'right now' and are often very upset if things dont happen quick enough or the way they wanted

These are just some of the things I have been dealing with, I assure you there are many many more. Oh, wait, Hang on, my client just smiled at me, showing off a new tooth. Oh and now he is being very clever and roling over. My older client just told me I look gorgeous like a princess in my new dress. Now the newest client just wrapped his chubby little arms around my neck and nuzzled into my neck. Did I mention he smells divine? Did you know I am my older clients best friend and he wants to marry me (I realise this is not condoned in our business) Often times the older client will just come up and kiss me for no reason and out of the blue tell me he loves me. Awwww the newest c lient just woke up and greeted me with a smile bigger than the world. Do you know what, I take back my resignation, I would like to keep this job. There are some things that are tough and draining and repetitive, and days where i could curl up in a ball and cry, but the good things far outweigh the bad. The good days erase any bad ones. When you see the love in their little eyes and you know to them you are a super hero of the super-est kind. I am content to be paid in kisses. So I will keep this job thanks very much

Sincerely,

Grateful Mummy