What do you see?

Hey you with youth on your side, with your flawless figure and your beautiful smile. What do you see when you look at me. Cos I see the looks you give, the pitying smile. The face that says"wow I will never let myself go like that"

You see arms that wobble too much and need to be covered with sleeves. I see two arms that have cradled my newborns. Arms that have hugged a child as he has cried when sick or hurt or just to show love. Arms that have held a friend as her heart was breaking. Arms that held a student tight when they were being neglected and abused. These arms are ok.

You see legs that are stumpy and dont look good in shorts. I see two strong legs that have paced the hallway many a night carrying a crying baby. I see two legs that run to chase a runaway toddler. I see two legs that jump and skip and play with a 4 year old. I see legs that hold children close on their lap. These legs are fine.

You see a stomach that is not flat. It has silvery lines and it wobbles. I see the place where my babies grew. This stomach that swelled to epic proportions as life was formed. I was so so proud of this stomach. This stomach made life! That is the most wondrous thing on earth. This stomach is ok.

You see breasts that are not longer perky, and could never go without a bra. But I see breasts that nourish and feed my baby. My breasts keep him alive. Amazing! He doesnt care what they look like, but gee do they do an awesome job. Almost like a superpower really. The girls are alright ; )

You look at my face and you see the fine lines. The beginnings of wrinkles and the tired eyes. I see lines from a face that has laughed til it cried over funny things people have said and done. Lines that have formed from smiling with such complete joy at the faces of children I never dreamed i would have. I see lines from a face that has cried many tears through loss and hurt and heartbreak. A face that is watching a friend losing her battle with cancer. A face that lost a much wanted child. A face that sat day after day after day beside a humidicrib praying her baby would survive. Each line has been earnt, each line tells a story. Each line says "this woman has lived!"

You look at me with pity, but I am ok. I embrace this body becaue it is mine.It is strong when it needs to be, soft when it needs to be. It tells the story of my life. I have lived and experienced and I would change none of it. Would give none of it back for the body of youth that you have. I am ok. At least for today