My Resignation Letter

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to hand in my resignation from the position of Mother. It is effective immediately. There are a few reasons for this decisions, which I will outline in dot points below. Hopefully by bringing these to your attention, you may rectify them for future employees:

1. My pay is dismal- oh thats right- I am not paid at all!

2. I cant remember the last time I had a proper meal break

3. I cannot even shower or have a toilet break on my own

4. My hours are ridiculously crazy. 24/7 is a bit much by any ones standards

5. I tried to resolve this through my union- except I dont have one!

6. I work hard all day but the clients come along behind me and constantly undo what I have done

7. in the course of my day I am vomitted on, dribbled on, sometimes even pooed on- what other employee would have to work under such conditions.

8. I have no sick leave at all, and no holidays

9. I was never given any training for my role, just thrown in the deep end with a couple books and the odd piece of advice- usually given when I have made a mistake

10. My clients are often demanding, needing everything 'right now' and are often very upset if things dont happen quick enough or the way they wanted

These are just some of the things I have been dealing with, I assure you there are many many more. Oh, wait, Hang on, my client just smiled at me, showing off a new tooth. Oh and now he is being very clever and roling over. My older client just told me I look gorgeous like a princess in my new dress. Now the newest client just wrapped his chubby little arms around my neck and nuzzled into my neck. Did I mention he smells divine? Did you know I am my older clients best friend and he wants to marry me (I realise this is not condoned in our business) Often times the older client will just come up and kiss me for no reason and out of the blue tell me he loves me. Awwww the newest c lient just woke up and greeted me with a smile bigger than the world. Do you know what, I take back my resignation, I would like to keep this job. There are some things that are tough and draining and repetitive, and days where i could curl up in a ball and cry, but the good things far outweigh the bad. The good days erase any bad ones. When you see the love in their little eyes and you know to them you are a super hero of the super-est kind. I am content to be paid in kisses. So I will keep this job thanks very much

Sincerely,

Grateful Mummy

What do you see?

Hey you with youth on your side, with your flawless figure and your beautiful smile. What do you see when you look at me. Cos I see the looks you give, the pitying smile. The face that says"wow I will never let myself go like that"

You see arms that wobble too much and need to be covered with sleeves. I see two arms that have cradled my newborns. Arms that have hugged a child as he has cried when sick or hurt or just to show love. Arms that have held a friend as her heart was breaking. Arms that held a student tight when they were being neglected and abused. These arms are ok.

You see legs that are stumpy and dont look good in shorts. I see two strong legs that have paced the hallway many a night carrying a crying baby. I see two legs that run to chase a runaway toddler. I see two legs that jump and skip and play with a 4 year old. I see legs that hold children close on their lap. These legs are fine.

You see a stomach that is not flat. It has silvery lines and it wobbles. I see the place where my babies grew. This stomach that swelled to epic proportions as life was formed. I was so so proud of this stomach. This stomach made life! That is the most wondrous thing on earth. This stomach is ok.

You see breasts that are not longer perky, and could never go without a bra. But I see breasts that nourish and feed my baby. My breasts keep him alive. Amazing! He doesnt care what they look like, but gee do they do an awesome job. Almost like a superpower really. The girls are alright ; )

You look at my face and you see the fine lines. The beginnings of wrinkles and the tired eyes. I see lines from a face that has laughed til it cried over funny things people have said and done. Lines that have formed from smiling with such complete joy at the faces of children I never dreamed i would have. I see lines from a face that has cried many tears through loss and hurt and heartbreak. A face that is watching a friend losing her battle with cancer. A face that lost a much wanted child. A face that sat day after day after day beside a humidicrib praying her baby would survive. Each line has been earnt, each line tells a story. Each line says "this woman has lived!"

You look at me with pity, but I am ok. I embrace this body becaue it is mine.It is strong when it needs to be, soft when it needs to be. It tells the story of my life. I have lived and experienced and I would change none of it. Would give none of it back for the body of youth that you have. I am ok. At least for today

Parenting is not a competitive sport

What is it about parenthood that brings out the ultra-competitveness of some people? I dont get it. For some it starts even before their little one makes that grand entrance into the world.

Competitive parent pre-birth

Man I am over this morning sickness, I am 14 weeks it should be easing soon!

14 weeks? Thats nothing I had morning sickness til my baby turned one!

Competitive parent on birth

Wow that labour was really long and tough. was about 34 hours and really intense.

Only 34 hours? I was in labour for 3 years with my baby and then they needed an industrial sized crane to pull him out.

Yeah I had a thrid degree tear, 28 stitches was pretty painful. '

Is that all? I had a 6th degree tear and even needed stitches to my nostrils the tear was that bad. Worst the doctor had ever seen!

Competitive parent on nutrition

We try to limit the amount of sugar our children eat, but realise a treat every now and then wont hurt.

WHAT!!! You actually give them food! We decided thats its safer to eat nothing these days , we even discourage them from inhaling in too much air

Competitive parent on milestones

Littlee Maggie said her first word the other day, so proud of her

Isnt she like 1already? I would be getting her tested if I were you My little Molly stepped out of my vagina reciting shakespeares sonnets

Yay first steps, still a bit shaky but we are on our way.

Well My Bertrand is training for his frst marathon. We thought what better present for his 6 month half birthday than to compete in the bridge to brisbane



Ok, so maybe I am exaggerating...a little, but for some people, every coment you make seems to turn them into a competitive machine. they are always sicker, tireder, better, richer, cleverer , prettier, thinner than you and of course their children are so far beyond yours that you may as well not even bother opening your mouth. I refuse to buy into it. Kids are all so different and will do things when they are ready, not when competive parent decieds they should be ready. I reckon kids should just be allowed to be kids- their beautiful, funny clever little selves who will do things when they are ready. And we love them more than anything in the world- unles syou are a competitiove parent and then you clearly love your child just that bit more than everyone else ; )

To Joseph @ 3 months

Dear Joseph,

                    Well yesterday you were 3 months old Darling boy. Time is just going by so, so fast! You are such a delight. I swear if you were to look up bonnie baby in a dictionary, your picture would be there. You have the biggest, most beautiful smile, one that lights up your whole face. I love when I go to get you from your bed you greet me with a grin, even if you were just crying seconds before. You have begun giggling, but you still take a lot to get there- just like your big brother did. Maybe mummy and daddy just aren’t as hilarious as we think? You have been sleeping through the night- 9-7- now for almost 3 weeks. We are so proud of you…. And so thankful!

You absolutely adore Elijah. Just hearing his voice can stop your tears and make you smile. Your eyes never leave him when he is near.  You are also a big Mummy’s boy. When you are very sad, only mummy will do. I love that just quietly.  Your favourite song at the moment is Baby Love. Me singing this song made you giggle for me for the first time. Last night when I was singing it to you, you were cooing and babbling- almost as though you were singing as well. So, so cute.  

Before you were born I wondered how I could ever love another child like I do Elijah, well there is definitely no needs to worry about that! I adore you so much it makes my heart hurt. I am torn between wanting to watch you grow and wanting to keep you just as you are now, though I know the choice is not mine. You are growing beautifully and just seem to get cuter every day.  You and your big brother light up my world every day Joseph. I love you to the moon and back a million times over.

Love Mummy

In Full Bloom

As I sit and type this, I realise that any day now my life is about to change. I look down at my belly which is amazing. It is round and firm and every so often  there are movements and kicks and wriggles that make my skin jump and quiver. Anyone that knows me, knows that I never compliment myself, but I am damm proud of this fine belly. I love that it seems to grow everyday. When pregnant with Elijah I couldnt wait to get the 'bump'. However that was not to be. So I am cherishing every moment I have with this spectacular stomach I have aquired.
I am so proud of us. We have made it to 32 weeks, a long, long way from the 25 weeks I was when admitted to hopsital. When I say proud of us, I mean all of us. Me- because for almost 7 weeks my life has been on hold as I sit and rest and give this baby the very best chance in lfe. Even though I complain sometimes about the sheer boredom of it all, I know I would sit here for 5 years if that was what ws required.
I am proud of Allan, my husband. He has been nothing short of amazing. Stepping in to become father, mother, chef, cleaner, shopper, all while working full time. He is so very tired and it kills me knowing he cant yet get a break, but I know he does it and will continue to do it for as long as needed because he loves us all so much.
I am proud of my beautiful Elijah. He has handled some pretty major changes this year- my hospitalisation for 3 weeks, having to go to kindy/daycare 5 days a week, having a mummy who is there but cant really do anything for him except sit with him on the lounge watchng tv and reading books. He has been amazing.
I am proud of my unborn baby, who oblivuous to the excitement thats been caused , grows and kicks away merrily in my belly. We so cant wait to meet this new little person who we are already smitten with.
I am proud of my family who give up weekends to come and see us, who will be here in an instant when things begin to progress, Who text daily  for updates and who also wait with baited breath to meet this new little person.
I am proud of my dearest friends. Who keep me compny, who look after Elijah, who cook for us, text me often and  who have just gone above and beyond what I ever could have imagined.
So as I sit here in full bloom, I am grateful. For family and friends, for love and new life...... and amazing pregnant bellies!

I AM PREGNANT....FINALLY

Well here its is, finally, the blog I have been longing to write for almost 2 years. I am pregnant with number 2- 13 weeks today. Man has it been hard to wait this long to write. After 4 IVF cycles our little miracle is on the way. I had the nuchal scan yesterday and everythng seems to be perfect- 2 arms,2 legs, head,10 fingers (couldnt see feet but am sure there are 10 toes as well  (was a bit concerned about missing body parts as it was a frozen embryo we used...silly I know)
It has been by no means a smooth pregnancy- i dont seem to do pregnancy well- especially 1st and 3rd trimester. IMorning sickness began at the start of week 6 and still hasnt left me. When i say morning sickness I really mean all day, all night horrendous illness! I have lost over 4 kg (which may not seem like much but it would normally take me months to lose that type of weight!) Anything to do with food makes me feel ill. Smelling it, eating it,cooking it, seeing it on tv, even thinking about it.  Am so hoping it will resolve soon. I dont think I could face any more oh so classy vomit in the front garden experiences lol.
This pregnancy has been eerily similar to Elijahs pregnancy. Although not planned, their due dates are only a week apart, which means the IVF cycles were very close.I also had a huge bleed with etc  at 5 weeks and was sure I had miscarried, just as i did with Elijah.   However  a scan the next day showed a sac, and the doctor said it was there but he couldnt say whether it would last or not. I had 2 embryos transferred so it was possible both had implanted and I lost one. So another week nd a half of anxious wait til my next scan and then we saw the beautiful little blob with a beating heart. As i was on medication costing over $100 a week,I had scans every 2 weeks wesome!) but am now drug free and on monthly scans.
We havent told Elijah yet, will wait til I am obviously showing. Pregnancy seems to take forever for me,I cant imagine how long it would feel to a 3 year old. I think he will be excited as he loves babies and always says he would like to be a big brother. But being that there will be a 4 year age gap, where he has had sole access to mummy for 4 years there could be a few issues to work through. But we will get there.
So keep fingers crossed that this little one does not decide mummys womb with a view is not good enough to stay in for a full 40 weeks and decide to arrive early like its big brother. And bring on 2nd trimester- I rock at that one!

Eddie V Big-hair man

Dear "Man with exxceptionally big head",
                                                                      It has taken me almost 2 months to write this post. That's how traumatised you made me. March 13, the night that could have been the night of my life (well apart from the other nights of my life- wedding, child birth etc etc). Picture this- me, 5th row, QPAC concert hall, Eddie Vedder on stage- solo show. About 15-20 metres separated me from the man I have loved since I was 12 (don't get your knickers in a twist- Allan knew when he married me there was always a piece of my heart kept for Eddie)  SHOULD. HAVE. BEEN HEAVEN. But do you know why it wasn't? Well let me tell you. It was because of you. You with your exceptionally big head. Sure, not your fault, genetics, yadda yadda yadda. However, perched on top of that freaking ginormous head, was the biggest man-hair I have ever seen! I mean come on, back away from the extra body shampoo man (as if that glossy shine comes naturally ; ). Once again, maybe you were just born with high sitting, springy hair strands. But for the love of all things holy, why, oh why could you not keep that gargantuan head still. You moved it one way- I moved the other. Oh hang on, now I can see Eddie, oh wait, hang on, big-head man has decided to move his head again..... for the 5 millionth time that hour!! Lucky for the person behind me, I am a) short  and b) had straightened my hair hence no chance of my hair being ginormous and view blocking.  Oh wait, now you want to shift your mammoth head again AND put your arm around your girlfriend. Well just wait till I move again, no really, cos its not like I paid the same money as you just to watch your FREAKING HUGE HEAD- seriously the poor girl beside me now thinks I am totally trying to rest my weary head on her shoulders.  Maybe I am being harsh, maybe the weight of having such a (hang on just ducking over to thesaurus.com for some more synonyms for large)  colossal head on your small neck is really difficult. Maybe I should be feeling sorry for you. Well I don't. Eddie was awesome, just a pity I have barely any idea what he looked like crooning away up on stage there because I couldnt see past your exorbitant cranium. But on the plus side, Andrew Stockdale (of Wolfmother fame) did a duet with Eddie and I had no problems whatsoever seeing his gigantic head either.


note: this blog is in no way meant to offend those who have exceptionally large heads